Teaching Your Subconscious What Love Looks Like

What if you could never experience the love external to yourself that you so greatly want because you have never taught your subconscious what that love looks like? You know, we manifest everything that we experience. Every person, every word, and everything that we see is a manifestation. As within, so without. Every person and every experience is just our subconscious being expressed outwardly.

So, I'm thinking, why do I want a relationship? Why do I want to experience love? Why is that such a desire inside of me? I think about when I wanted to have children. All my life, I wanted my own family. I wanted to have kids. I wanted to be a dad, and I wanted to be a better dad than my own father. I wanted to show the world, show my family, and show myself that I could be a good father. I wanted to love someone outside of myself so wonderfully that they become something great.

And now I ask myself again, why do we want a relationship so desperately? More specifically, there is a certain person that I desire. But in that case, it is irrelevant, because ultimately, I'm open to anyone coming into my life and giving me the relationship that I desire. But as I was stating earlier, what does that mean? What does that look like?

Then you get into the idea that everything you are experiencing is your subconscious being expressed outwardly. If you want a specific type of relationship, that is your conscious mind speaking. But if you're not getting that, it's because subconsciously, you have blocks. Subconsciously, you may not believe you deserve it. You may be scared or frightened. So, how do you fix that? Well, you need to teach your subconscious what that love looks like. What does the love that you so desperately desire actually look like?

The True Meaning of Self-Love

This leads right into self-love. What does loving yourself look like? It's not just pampering yourself. It's not just combing your hair, brushing your teeth, doing your makeup, putting on nice clothes, or having a good job. That isn't what it's about. It's about keeping your word. It's about building your body, maintaining it, and treating it with love, respect, and dignity. It's about holding your boundaries. It's about always putting your needs and desires above anyone and everyone else's. It's about respecting the fact that you are ultimately not just an individual, but a part of something greater and bigger than yourself. You are a fragment of God experiencing Himself.

Self-love is so much more than what they say. It is a very deep and complex thing to do and experience. But I think when we start to really love ourselves—really give ourselves the attention, the love, the respect, the dignity, and the honor that we deserve, want, and need—that's when a love external to us can come and express that back to us in an outward fashion. Remember, everything starts inward. Everything starts with how you feel and think about yourself.

How you feel and think about yourself in the beginning is a product of your external life. It is a product of your parents, your friends, school, and society. But the older you get, the more you live, experience, and learn, the more you begin to realize that how you feel about yourself is completely up to you.

Listening to Your Higher Self

For example, say I hate the way my body looks. Alright, well, what am I doing about it? Nothing. I don't feel like exercising. I don't see the results fast enough, so I give up. I don't want to stop eating junk food because it feels good. All these things are you talking to yourself. It's you teaching your subconscious and telling yourself exactly how you feel about yourself. Your inner self—your higher being—is telling you, "I don't feel good. I don't like this body. This is not the body that I'm supposed to have. I feel like you're disrespecting me." And you, as the lower self, are saying to your higher self, "I don't care what you want or how you feel. I want to do what I want to do right now."

Another example: Your higher self is telling you, "I don't want to sleep around. I don't want to have sex with multiple people. I want a monogamous relationship. I don't want to be somebody's side piece or be with someone who is cheating on me." But you are so frightened of being alone, so frightened of not being chosen by the person you desire, that you just continue doing what you're doing, ignoring and hurting your higher self.

You can never experience the love that you've been giving to others because you have not been giving it to yourself. And that's the part that hurts the most. Because you've been giving that love to other people, your subconscious knows that you are capable of giving that love. It's saying to your smaller self, "I know you can love the way I want to be loved, but you're not loving me that way. You just keep giving it to other people. Not cool."

Healing the Disconnect

This disconnect is where the self-hatred, the self-anger, the depression, the sadness, and the self-loathing come from. It creates the victim mentality, the "woe is me," and the thought that other people always get the life you want to live. The jealousy and envy come from the fact that your subconscious knows it could have this. It knows it could be this because it sees you giving it to others. It wonders, "Why don't you give it to me?"

That's why I believe the only way to ever experience the external love that you want so badly is to literally give that love to yourself first. By doing so, you teach your subconscious that you deserve this love because you are giving it to yourself. You show it what that love looks like and how you want to be loved. You also prove that this love is safe. It's not going anywhere, and it will never leave, because you have been giving it to yourself consistently and you will not stop. And even when someone external to you begins to give you the love you deserve, you will keep giving it to yourself. So now, you're getting it from two separate places: internally from yourself, and externally from them.

What It Really Means to Work on Yourself

Something I think about often is what people mean when they say, "I'm working on me." What does that really mean? Lately, I've noticed a lot of people claiming to be working on themselves, but when you look at their actions, they aren't actually doing the work. Do people even understand what it means to work on yourself?

When you really break it down, working on yourself means isolating yourself. It means being alone with your thoughts and alone with that inner part of you that speaks in a whisper. It means actively working on all of your dreams, aspirations, goals, and desires.

The Practical Steps of Self-Improvement

Everyone has a certain way they want their body to look or function; working on yourself means working on your health to achieve that. If you want to go to college, change your career, or get a new job, you actively pursue that by studying, signing up for classes, and taking courses.

It also means confronting your destructive patterns. If you don't want to end up like a parent who struggled with drinking, yet you go out drinking every weekend, working on yourself means going sober to break that psychological pattern. If you know you aren't a very good reader, you start reading more books out loud and learning new vocabulary. If you recognize that you've been promiscuous—cheating in relationships or having multiple sexual partners—and you decide you want a healthy, monogamous relationship, working on yourself means choosing celibacy. It means sitting with yourself and asking the hard questions.

Doing the Emotional Work

Working on yourself is doing the deep emotional work. It's looking at your past patterns and asking, "Why do I keep doing the same things?" It is realizing that everything in your life is a manifestation of what you believe about yourself. As within, so without. Everyone and everything is just you, pushed outward.

But nowadays, I see people claiming to be working on themselves while spending every waking moment distracted. They are playing music or YouTube videos in the background so they don't have to hear their own thoughts. They are hanging out with friends, playing video games, or talking on the phone whenever they are alone. They never stop to just be with their own thoughts. They don't even know what it means to be bored—to just sit down in a room, stare at the ceiling, and feel that boredom.

You have to listen to your mind rattle off random thoughts. You have to feel those deep-down emotions bubble up to the surface and make you cry, get angry, or want to punch something. Sit with those emotions. Hear those thoughts. Don't dwell on them endlessly, but sit with them. When they come up, listen to what they have to say. And after you've heard them, if they get a little too crazy, you reel them back in and say, "Okay, that's enough. I don't want to feel that way. I don't want to think those things. But I see that you're inside me, I accept it, and I will work on it."

The False Idea of "Working on Yourself"

That is what working on yourself means. It's not this constant, superficial excuse of, "Oh, I'm working on myself," used to avoid building meaningful relationships. It's not cutting off the friend who always encourages you to do better just because you don't want the pressure. It's not saying, "I'm working on myself, so instead of sleeping with five different people, now I only sleep with two."

What are we really doing? What are we promoting? What is the world becoming? We have to change this, and the best thing we can do is start with ourselves.

Raising the Collective Frequency

Each person has to take the time to go through that journey of self-discovery. We have to navigate the hurt and sit with the emotions. We must better ourselves and raise our frequency and vibration. We are a collective. We are all connected and unified. We are all fragments of God, pushed outwardly, experiencing every possible outcome of the universe through each and every one of us.

If each of us takes the time to truly work on ourselves, raise our vibrations, and elevate our frequencies, we get closer to that one unified whole. By raising our individual vibration, we raise the vibration of every other fragment around us. The entire collective gets an upgrade. That is what we need to be working on. Like my aunt used to tell me: "Each one, teach one."

Inspired Action and Listening to Your Spirit

You know, something that I'm thinking about lately is the concept of changing your mind. Anyone can change their mind at any time, and I support that. I think changing your mind is a beautiful thing. But this whole conversation comes from a girl that I'm talking to. She was saying, "Let things happen naturally. Let things go this way, or let that happen. Just let things happen."

​I was explaining to her that I don't really live like that. I'm not trying to control every part of my life, but when it comes to other people, I try to control as much of my interaction with them as possible. I try to avoid disappointment, because people will disappoint you. So for me, it becomes: what do I need to do, or potentially say, to ensure that a specific outcome is obtained from my interaction with this person? I already have in my mind what I want, or what I don't want, from this person. You already have in your mind what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do.

​So nothing has to just "happen" for you to change your mind. Let's say you decide before a date, "I am not going to sleep with this person." That's it. You've already made your decision before you even went on the date. Nothing at the date should change your mind. You shouldn't go on the date, have a few drinks, feel comfortable because he made you feel comfortable, and then you go and sleep with him. By doing that, you are going against yourself—your higher self. The version of you that, before being influenced, had already made a decision. If you go and sleep with this man after you already made the decision ahead of time that you weren't going to, and then something occurs—let's say y'all start dating three months later, and he's cheating on you or treating you like crap—now you're upset. You're saying, "Oh, I shouldn't have ever slept with him. I don't know why I did that."

​Well, your higher self already knew that, which is why I told you not to do it! But you went out on the date, you went to the interaction, and you changed your mind.

​On the flip side, let's say you already had it in your mind: "I am going to sleep with him." That's already in your mind before you even go on the date. Now you go on the date, and something happens, and you don't feel comfortable doing it. It's not going to be hard for you to say, "Okay, I'm not doing that." You stick to it. If he pissed you off on the date, or he's nasty, or his teeth are dirty, or whatever happens, you already decide, "Okay, I'm not doing that anymore." But when we have it in our minds not to do something, and then we go into the situation and we force ourselves to do it because something occurred within the interaction—we shouldn't do that. That's what I was trying to explain to her.

​This is very different from inspired action. Inspired action is everything. If your higher self tells you to do something, and then you go to the place and you feel inspired action, and something occurs there and your higher self says, "Don't do it anymore," don't do it. If your higher self says, "Yes, let's go to this party," and you get to the party and you're having a good time, but then all of a sudden you get this feeling that it's time to leave—we need to get out of here. Listen to your higher self. It doesn't matter that your higher self told you to go. Clearly, something has altered, or you did the thing that you were supposed to do when you went there, and now it's time to leave. Don't fight against your higher self. Don't fight the inspired action.

​Remember, there are three things that dictate our actions: your mind, your flesh (which is your body), or your spirit. Those are the three things that will lead you on any action. Everything that we do in this life is being led by our mind, our body, or our spirit.

​I believe you should always listen to your spirit. Your spirit is the most subtle thing, though. When it talks to you, it is not loud. It is not boisterous. It is a very quiet, subtle nudging sensation that comes from deep inside of you. And you have to be really, truly in tune with yourself to really hear and listen to your spirit.

​Your mind is almost always the loudest. It is the most flood-you-with-thoughts-and-ideas thing. And your body is not as subtle as your spirit, but it's not as loud as your mind. It just talks to you through physical reactions.

​But let's look at what happens when these three aren't aligned. So again, if your mind is like, "I want to talk to this girl," but your spirit is telling you, "No, don't do it." Or maybe your body is saying, "I want to talk to this girl," but your mind is afraid, and your spirit is completely silent. It's not saying anything at all. Then now you have to ask yourself: Am I moving out of fear? Am I doing this thing, or avoiding this thing, out of fear?

​And that's what I mean when I say changing your mind. Because a lot of times we're changing our mind from a place of fear. Fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of something. If you changed your mind from what your higher self originally decided, you need to recognize if fear is the driving force. If I say, "Yeah, I'm going to jump off this bridge and dive into the ocean," and then the fear hits me and says, "Nah, this is probably a bad idea," that's a good fear. That fear is keeping me safe. But if I have it in my mind that I'm not going to jump off the bridge, and I get there, and somebody convinces me to do it, and I go against my original judgment—then that's something different, because I let someone convince me to ignore my first mind.

​So don't change your mind based on a situation, and don't change your mind based on fear. Go into situations following your spirit. If my spirit tells me, "Hey, this is what we want out of this interaction, this is what we need from this person," maybe this is how we can get it. Obviously, my mind is going to come up with all kinds of ways for us to get it. So if my spirit says, "Talk to that girl," my mind will say, "Say this, this, and this." But my spirit says, "No, don't say that. Ask her how she's doing today." I'm going to listen to my spirit.

​Go into all situations listening to your spirit. Before you do anything, listen to your spirit. It will guide you. It will tell you what to do, what to say, and where to go. It will speak to you about everything in all situations—down to you reading this blog post right now. You either read it because your mind, your flesh, or your spirit led you here.

To be healthy is to believe in God

Reflections on Health, Self-Love, and the Divine

I have been sitting with a thought recently, wondering to myself: what if our physical health is more closely related to a real and genuine belief in God than it is to anything else we currently understand?

The Gift of Life and the Concept of Slow Suicide

I was listening to an interpretation of the movie Bird Box, and the commentator discussed why suicide is frowned upon in many traditions. The perspective was that life is a gift from God, and to take your own life would be disrespectful to Him—essentially spitting in His face after being granted this profound gift. This rings true, as many religions view suicide through this exact lens. The underlying idea is that your life does not truly belong to you; it belongs to God, who has only lent it to you temporarily. We exist in this world for a fleeting moment, and eventually, we are required to return to the oneness, back to the source.

Hearing that made me realize something deeply sobering. If abruptly ending one's life is a rejection of God's gift, doesn't that mean people who refuse to take care of their health are essentially speeding up their own deaths? By neglecting your body, you are committing a slow suicide. Failing to care for your physical form is a form of disrespect to the Creator, which makes perfect sense when we remember that the body is a temple.

My Personal Health Journey and Facing Insecurities

This train of thought naturally led me to reflect on my own current health journey. My goal is to reach a maximum of 15% body fat, though ideally, I want to live in the 10% to 15% range. For me, this started purely for aesthetics. I want to look good; I want to look in the mirror and see my muscles. Right now, I am at 18% body fat, so I am getting there slowly but surely. Last year, however, I was at 22% body fat.

Everything changed for me in January after a difficult breakup. Since then, I have been focused on my health journey and my personal "glow up." But it has also been a journey of understanding who I am as a person and what I truly want. I have had to ask myself hard questions: Why am I so afraid of being alone? Why am I afraid of losing love? My fear isn't necessarily about losing love to death, but rather the fear of falling in love with a woman, giving her the absolute best of myself, and then having her leave or break my heart.

That is a very real, deep-seated fear that I sit with. I am only just realizing the weight of it by making these statements out loud. Ultimately, that is the entire purpose of this blog post. It is an opportunity for me to openly express my fears, my insecurities, and who I am as a person—to put it all out there in the open.

Redefining "Health is Wealth"

For so long, we have operated on the cliché that "health is wealth." We tell ourselves we should be healthy because we want to live long lives, because we want to avoid dying early, or because we want to maximize our physical appearance. We strive for health for countless reasons. While others may have expressed this sentiment before, I don't think I have ever personally heard anyone say they want to be healthy because they love God.

To the people who say they believe in God, I have to ask: Do you really believe if you are not taking care of your body? If you are not eating protein, choosing whole foods, exercising, and walking as much as you can, do you genuinely believe in God? Believing in God is not just about paying your tithes or being nice to others. Believing in God is an act of self-love. It is fully and completely loving yourself.

To truly love yourself, you have to be healthy. You must strive to be your healthiest self—your best self physically, mentally, and emotionally. To love yourself is to understand that you are connected to the Divine, that you are the creator of your reality, and that you are an integral part of the Oneness. You are God experiencing Himself through your unique perspective.

These are just the thoughts I have been sitting with recently, and I felt compelled to share them.

Google Gemini Gems || Oooh what's that?

The Blog

I've been thinking about how I can utilize my blog more. Especially since I've been more locked in. This is the link to the conversation I had with Gemini about it. 

https://g.co/gemini/share/4ac08b234028

I actually agree about trying a different blog approach for each week. Just to see which takes, which gets me closer to the goal. Which is public accountability, which helps me grow and develop. As well as building an audience. Which helps with my brand and business goals. 

When I say I've been locked in, I mean it. I've even been keeping track on this app I bought a few years ago. I totally forgot about it, it's called hello habit. 

Something Google should do is have a tab or place I can go to see all the apps I've bought. I had to scroll through my history to see what apps I've bought. But yeah, hello habit has been helping me to see my consistency. 

And I'm going to need that now that my schedule has changed. Instead of Saturday-Monday night. I now work Tuesday-Friday night. So more hours and different days. Which is good, don't get me wrong. I'm grateful to have my weekend, but I also see how that cuts into what I had been doing for the last 3 weeks or so. 

Tuesday was my cool down day, I got off and instead of going straight to sleep I would stay up and run errands. This way I could reset my sleep and my body.

Then Wednesday was school day, I would focus and get as much school work done as possible. Realistically I would either do one module each class, or I decided to do that month's work for one class and then do the month's work for the next class. So as of now I don't have to do any work for both my classes until April. But I'm thinking this week I'll knock out one module of each class or just do all the work for April for one class then the same next week for the other. Then in April I would just have finals for both classes. I haven't decided yet.

Thursday was my home lab day. I created the new YouTube channel where I go live and do a cybersecurity project for my resume. Not just for my resume but to build the skills to say I have the experience when I do the job applications. Also I would put my project on my LinkedIn page. So I'll have the video of me doing the project, and the post on LinkedIn, and add it to my resume. Then afterwards I would do job applications and assessments. 

Friday was my creative day, I work on YouTube videos and do some tufting. And when I get back into writing I would've spent this day working on my writing as well. Which is something I want to get back into... But I just haven't been feeling it. But yeah I would film my YouTube videos today, edit some or all and schedule post them.

So now with this new schedule, I think I'm still going to stick to my old schedule, I just have to be more focused. More locked in. So I get home, go to sleep. Then wake up, do my daily to-do chores, then lock in, then dinner and kids, then it's time to either rest again or head to the night job. But that's what I'm thinking right now. 

So I've been focused, which is why I haven't been writing in my blog like I should. An as most know, when I'm in my feelings I tend to shut down. I've not been in my feelings lately. But I have been trying to remain focused. Trying to stay locked in and build my life and keep on the right path. An that requires a certain level focus and dedication. 

Things to keep in mind || JB Show