it still hurts

5:39am- God is good for real. I'm tired but not tired. I rolled and tossed and turned almost all night. I had strange dreams. I barely remember them but they felt odd. Felt out of place. Now I'm up and saw this post. 

which is exactly what I tried to tell mail. Together we can be better. We can help each other grow. I know I gotta let her go. Whatever, I'm get up and start this day. Thank God I'm alive and can start a new. 

7:37am- I'm so ready for this new life. I'm go back to college. I'm get this bachelor's degree. I'm stick to my plan. To my goals. $100,000 a year after taxes by myself, buy a house, buy a Tesla, secure my retirement by investing in stocks and crypto, pay off my debt and live a cash rich life style. Then and only then will I look for a wife. I want to get married and have a family. But I'm not willing to settle. God is good to me, and I'm try keep him in the front of my mind. Today will be a good day. Go home edit my next video. I gotta talk to this lady to find out what other paperwork she needs from me. 

3:18pm- I miss that fucking girl. I can't wait until I'm over her. 

7:03pm- what a long day today. I'm going home to do some paperwork shower and go to bed. I'll go shopping Sunday since I'm off that day. 

7:49pm- man that shit hurts...I'm shower pray and hit Walmart for some quick supplies. Then I'm come home edit this video and upload tonight to air on Sunday when I'm off. Sunday I'm do filming or hang with the kids. I need a day of rest. 

8:27pm- I'm just edit this video and go to bed. I'm tired and I can't get this girl off my mind. I made it all this way in life alone. With only really the help of God. Like I really built my life up out the mud. 

9:56pm- I got the editing done. It was a good day and I'm tired now. I'm go to bed after I look into this arise application.