day 6

8:47am- holy crap that gummy fucked me up. I absolutely tripped out. Needed my sons to bring my back to reality. But it reminded me that we're consciousness surfing. All of us, we're jumping from reality to reality. Last night I almost got trapped in a reality where I killed myself or the cops killed me. But I escaped into this reality of success. I got a lot of productive planning done. I got a app that chooses randomly for me. So I put in what I want to do and it'll pick one randomly for me. 

so this is how it looks. And the middle button will spin it. Then I'll do that thing chosen. 

duolingo is 15 minutes each time so it's weighed as two and the YouTube for a hour should be smaller. I'm either add things or create a new wheel with other things. Although these are the things I want to spend my free time doing. I have goals and desires. I have to truly give myself the time and energy I deserve to be happy. To be debt free and living a cash rich life. I deserve a self driving car. I deserve a house that's stable and my kids can grow. I deserve to retire at 50 and spend my life pursuing my art. I deserve a love that's devoted to a long, healthy lasting relationship filled with growth, understanding and patience. 

9:30- a problem I'm have to keep together is getting impatient. I be wanting to see results to to hear moves and see them. I rarely give myself the time and patience. That's why now I'm going to try to tap into gratitude. Constantly thanking God for what I have. The good the ugly the the bad. Because God is truly good to us, if we focus more on what we have. We would be more happy and more motivated to strive for better and more. Today I'm going to focus. I'm make this chicken and rice for the boys, make some breakfast, then take a half gummy and get to work. I wanna clean out my house as well. Like a major cleaning. I'm in a new phase of my life. It's so true that everyone can't come with you. And im make it a rule that every day off I'm make a YouTube video. Make as many as I can. I wanna find a gun range as well. A major cleaning, clean car. My day off choices, slap that into the randomizer. Laundry as well. 

3:34pm- I did everything to not do any real work. I tried to set up a paper trade on my simulator and not sure if it worked. I did set up calendar alerts to help keep me on track. The company job fair was good. I'm going to apply for the position if it makes $65,000 a year or more. This will allow me a good amount. I'm apply to anywhere in FL. If I can drive there from here and it's only a 1 fine. If more than a hour than I'll move. If my mom house closer to the job I'm propose she sell me the house. But that's jumping the gun. I gotta get the job first. So I'm focused, but I ain't do money making work. That's what I need to do, I think during the week I will. Today is another rest day. Well semi rest day. I wanna get rid of all these papers I have around the house as well. I did cook some dinner for the boys and packed my lunch. I think I deserve a movie. I wrote jb show notes and worked on some of that stuff. Picked a stock trading strategy that I'm study and start doing this week. I'm use the wheel method on schd. I'm going to watch inside now, eat dinner and thank God for all he's done for me. Life really is good. I'll let y'all know how the movie is. 

6:23pm- I don't know what my life is going to amount to or become. I'm going to track my celibacy journey try to discover this new Joseph I'm becoming. When I get home from work. I only spin the wheel and sleep. God is good, all the time.