thank you God

5:48am- God really said she is not for me. It's crazy how everyone who meets me and talks to me likes me. The women I talk too all like me and want to get married and submission and what not. An this girl didn't want none of it. That's how I know she's still grieving. She's going through something. An maybe Mer is right, I have a saviour complex. I don't know, but I think about her. I went to be feeling great and woke up with her on my mind. 

7:03am- this is all I want, 

i want a woman who feels this way about me and I feel this way about her. Fucking mail 😭😭 I just wanted to love you. Give you everything... An no she doesn't read my blog. Honestly I have no idea who does. I don't check the analytics. I barely look at the analytics on my YouTube channel. I just do this stuff for the love of it. 

7:57am- today I woke up feeling fucking good, so I'm spreading the love and happiness to as many people as I can. I wrote a few letters and I'm mail them tomorrow. Life can hurt at times and it's nice to get a encouraging word and message. 

11:15am- ok what a good day so far. I'm about to leave the house and go meet the realtor. I set my rice to cook and I'll make the salmon when I get back home. I also started editing this next video I'm drop tonight or tomorrow. But we doing the same thing. I'm feeling good for real. Had mail on my mind but I'm ok... I hope she doing well. Hope God grants her healing. I did almost indulge earlier today. But I fought the urge. An I ordered more Polaroids I'm start sending pictures in my post cards. Didn't even know I could upload the photos to the appsthat's super dope. Ok I'm going to go now. I'm excited. 

1:52pm- yeah I'm moving to Vero Lakewood Park area.. I saw two houses I like a lot. The lender going to send me the numbers to find out if I can afford it. I don't want to pay more than $2,000 for my mortgage with everything included but if it goes to 2100 I can afford it. I'm going to finish making this dinner then I want to do a application and I want to finish editing my next video. God is so good to me. I'm so excited about what's happening in my life. 

2:44pm- boom dinner done. This salmon has no skin and I gotta be honest. I don't like that, I want my salmon with some skin on it. it's not dark enough for me either. I prefer it more dark, I'm cook it another 5 mins. 

6:52pm- yeah she putting in that work. I'm going to bed soon. I didn't edit the video or fold cloths.. but it's ok.