7:50am- it's crazy that multiple women want me. Like want to be with me... But I don't want them. Especially after this heartbreak. Is like I really don't want anyone. I want to be left alone.
11:40pm- fuck it I'm go see my mom tomorrow.
3:07pm- I still think of her everyday. I still love her... But I accept that Allah does not want her for me. I pray Allah takes her from my heart and mind and allows me to love that which is good for me. That which is for me and not for another. I pray Allah prepares me for my person. For my wife, my life partner.
5:11pm- my heart longs for her. But I'm going to heal. I'm going to stay on this path. I thought to myself today. When her birthday comes I'm going to order her a nice birthday card and write "are you ready to grow? Have you realized I'm the one?" Or order some edible arrangements and write that on the card. But it's like nah man, that girl will probably be pregnant with another man baby. Or still be the same person... I have no idea why I've been thinking of her all day. God I wanna get over her.
6:25pm- drop off some stuff to the house, get the pizza for the boys. Break down the bed frames. So yeah it's looking like by Friday we in there.
8:24pm- I still feel the anger inside me. It makes me sad that I'm such an angry person. I don't think I was angry with her. But than again I drank and was high most the time. So maybe I was and didn't notice. I just wanna heal... I thought to unblock her. But fuck that, I'm leave her blocked and keep praying. If she's for me she'll do just like I did when I was blocked. Call *69, send a email, reach out to others to talk to me. But she doesn't and didn't love me how I love her. Which is why she jumped on new dick so fast.
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