10:54am- I thought I was off today. Come to find out I work today and off tomorrow. So I'm here at work. And look at God. She's not here but if I went to work tomorrow she would be there. God is so good to me. Man I feel it, God is doing something. He's moving people and things around for me to seriously win. An Mesha texted me out the blue pouring love and kindness and reaffirming words into me. I felt weak this morning. I wanted to break but God did it. I gotta stay strong. God is doing it.
2:41pm- time to go home…God is good, be a good person. Listen to the Lord and he'll answer all your prayers. He'll show you the way. It's going to be hard. But it'll be worth it. I love that girl and pray she heals. Pray she sees the beauty inside her. Pray she grows and develops into the person she's meant to be.
8:17pm- I spent a bunch of money today. But it's fine. It's all so my house can be what I want it to be. Plus I got movie tickets for me and the boys. We going to go watch that Captain America movie tomorrow. I think every Sunday that's something we'll do. That's our thing. But man today God showed out. I feel like he sent me a BIG sign a big message. My time is coming really soon. My wife is healing and almost ready. God really is preparing me for her and her for me. I have to have faith and keep pushing forward..keep focused. Today was a good day and I played ps5 and ate snacks all day long. But tomorrow I wanna get some stuff done. I wanna get back focused on what needs to be done. Work on my house, work on my books, work on my YouTube. Get things done because the next phase of my life is going to start soon.
11:20pm- I still love her …I've been celibate for 4 months going on 5. Longest in my life. This is by choice. I'm really proud. An is for my growth. It's apart of my sacrifice to God to show him I'm ready for my wife. I can and will control myself. No sex, no weed, no alcohol.
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