🫠🥴🤪🤔😌🙃🙂‍↕️

5:43am- ok I gotta look into different pillows or something. Or drop the temperature on the AC. Because I tossed and turned a lot last night. An now I have this knot in my neck. I don't like that …I feel, blah today. Well at this moment. But today will be better will be good. I've been feeling that subtle sadness. In my gut it lingers, it sits with me. I'm not sure why…I been laying around in bed. I'm about to get up and start getting ready. I need to organize my living room. Then my kitchen and seriously start working on the kids room and my office. I should make a video tonight. An get my stuff together to do my taxes Sunday. 

6:24am- I think it was the magnesium. I took a long piss this morning. I needed to pee badly. That's probably why I tossed and turned. 

6:57am- boom started my taxes. Let's see what I get. I'm hoping 8-10k. I wanna pay off my debt. I was going to buy a Tesla. But it's like not yet. Let's pay off the debt and then buy the car. Fix up my house, then buy the car. Because most the time I'm at work. So I won't even get to really be in the car as often as I want too. 

11:14am- I been sticking to my Duolingo. But also I have not. 

this week I ain't really been feeling it. This has been a weird week. I don't feel sad but I feel sad underneath everything. I identify it but it doesn't go away. I pull myself into the now but I still feel it the. Unless it's the ego death. The fear of the ego death. I'm on the edge of it and it's holding on for dear life. 

1:16pm- I hope the programming kicks into full swing shortly. 

it'll literally just be a shift in thinking. 39 times I've listen to my 9 minute loop of affirmations. 

4:05pm- that was nice running into karolyn at the gas station. Everything happens for a reason. So why did that just happen? What was the point of that? 🤔

9:11pm- she will never find another me. None of the woman who chose to play with my heart will ever find another me. They avoid their inner work. They drink and party and fuck and avoid feeling their feelings. An I was there but now I'm here. Now I'm ready to assend. Ready to grow. To kill my ego and have my spiritual awakening. I'm going through the pain the hurt of growing. I'm brute force changing my subconscious thoughts. 

im going to force myself to adjust my thinking. To have gratitude for all things. To manifest the life I desire for myself. A loving healthy relationship with a woman who adores me and wants to grow. Financial freedom and abundance. Teslas in my driveway. Real estate the secure generational wealth. Crypto to secure my financial freedom. And deep strong faith in God that is unshakable no matter who leaves who dies or who insults me.