7:39am- it's not enough to want to be better. I have to simply be better. An that's what I try to do daily. Today I keep telling myself focus on today. Worry about today. Only today matters. What will we do today. I'm sticking to writing out my thoughts and wants and ideas and when I get home organizing them. My financial plans are kinda locked in. But it's the other stuff that's not. I gotta train my mind and body to do the things I don't want to do. I'm focus up on cyber security. I wanna give everything a month of focus. This month I want my focus to be trading, next month the rugs, then writing and YouTube and the last month is cyber security. Because once I start that it'll take about 6 months to really understand and apply the knowledge to my life and job search. The idea I have now is in 6 months when Jophiel case completely closed. I'm going to apply all over America. I don't know if God wants me stay in fort Pierce or wants me to leave. All I can do is do my best and whatever God wants for me. I pray that's what happens to me. But I'm so ready for this new life. I want it and I'm trying to stay focused on getting it.
8:05am- everyday I'm at work and I think to myself is this what my life is? Is this truly my contribution to society is this what I'm going to do behind another man on a lineage of people? That's not the story I want. That's not the lineage I want. This week I'm try not to spend money on street food. Especially while at work, I I'm notice anytime I leave my house I wanna buy food. So the idea is to cut that habit. Next 3-6 months I need to buckle down on my finances. Shit being single keeps a lot more money in my pocket. I still feel lonely, but more money in my pocket means more I can do. Ultimately a good partner is everything. Also also check out my new video. I did the gobabytrade review.
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https://youtu.be/CffAvbIkKhU?si=oc8jBbP3jAAla_Vz
12:33pm- so far it's been a good day. I keep thanking God for what he did for me. This whole custody thing with my son was a lot. I've been wanting to put this behind me for so long and now it's finally over. God is so good. I keep thinking this is a sign that I'm supposed to let go of my old life for real. Become a new Joseph, a different Joseph. I feel like I have to completely let go of the past. Got kicked off Snapchat which has A LOT of people from my past. Got custody of my son allowing me to cut more people out of my life. Broke up with my girlfriend and I'm single. Allowing me the ability to move from this place. I'm so scared though. Of the work to build this new life. Scared of letting go of my old life...fuck I hate being such a scared person.
2:27pm- maybe that's the path I need to take. Become religious again. Focus my mind on a closeness to God. Than he would send me a woman to love and cherish. Idk
7:47pm- well today ends as day 1 of my new life. Of the new me. As I go on this journey of growth and discovery. Because I know it'll hurt, I know I'm going to hurt as parts of me die. I'm going to do laundry then I should get started on this cyber security journey. Cause I'm scared, but I'm also tired of not having enough for what I want. I have to make something pop for my people.
7:59pm- each person perceives reality in their own way. But there are universal truths. Things that are true regardless of what someone thinks or feels. An you'll have some people who will say who decides these rules, who says what's what? An it's society we all decide. We as a collective. The human species is not one of solitude, we're social creatures who desire to be close to other humans. An I'm not saying that because I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm a reality guy.
8:36pm- when I leave my apartment I want to move into a house with a washer and dryer. That would be the first home appliance I get. I'm so sick of the laundry mat. I gotta do this cyber security so I can get a desk job paying me more and leave to protect my data and family data. That's my future, that's what I need to do.
9:09pm- you have to open up too be loved.
I Am an open book?
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