this to shall pass

12:23am- if you take your life and simply break it up into moments you'll realize the beauty of being alive. The reality that we breaeth air into our lungs and each day we go out and we play the game of life. being awake is playing, being a sleep. I think that's logging off. The more connected you are to life the more you can not access the spiritual world. Which is the real you. the earth machine is to strengthen your spiritual power. As you experiance life, the different challanges of each player trying to obtain their goals. Humanity as a whole has a goal and each of us plays a role in that purpose. Just as the stars and the planets exits. I saw this video on youtube talking about dyson phares which show there is alien life out there so intellegent they can access the power of a star at their will. this makes them speacial. they found multiple which means intergalic communication. We could be on a island in the solar system. as vast as it is, we could be on the edge of the spectrum or on a thin stretched section. No way to really know.

6:44am- I didn't go to bed until 2am, I was up writing praying and accepting life. Learning to truly let go and move on. I cut my hair and feel brand new. Feel like it'll all be ok. Today should be a good day I gotta call that lady back about this doctor appointment tomorrow. 

8:05am- man I'm the shit. My deep understanding of the reality of what we're doing alive. Puts me in a category of people that not many can stand beside me. My understanding of relationships and the give and take of the universe the concept and idea of push and pull of giving receive of up and down left to right action for reaction. This girl really dropped the ball. To have someone who wants to marry you who wants to build a life with you who's ready to build with you and make with you and you don't want to do that. Even if you are still grieving, the long stuff a partner that you tried to do that with they're gone. Why would you not move on or at least say that you're grieving so that the person can help. Two broken people can heal one another. They can heal each other and they can heal themselves while being with someone. It's only those who like understanding and caring and love that feel that they have to heal by themselves. We're not solo species. We're not creatures meant to be alone. Meant to do this thing by ourselves.

2:28pm- what a day. It's going too be a long day. Whatever though. I hope I stay at the main. Let's see what happens. Don't take nothing personal y'all. People be broken out here. 

7:53pm- God has spoken... It's time to let it go. It will not happen. And that hurts.