time heals all

6:39am- we spend our whole lives searching and looking and hoping and praying and holding onto things and letting things go. A ocean of back and forth push and pull. I'm so ready to be different. And I've been slowly working on it. But it doesn't change the hurt I feel for a life lost. But I'm more afraid of doing the same and getting what I've been getting. Than I am of trying something new and getting something I've never known. I'm scared and I'm hurt but I have faith that God is leading my life. I have to follow the signs even when it hurts. 

2:59pm- I was supposed to go into work after taking the papi to the doctor. But I'm not doing that, I didn't call or nothing. I just came back home and took a nap. Dropped the stuff off to 23 and now I'm back home. More of my tufting stuff came but still not all of it. I gotta finish organizing my home as well. I cleared out more of my closet and room. An I'm keep it going, keep things pushing. I'm trying to stay motivated but I'm just not. So I force myself to do stuff. Like right now I wanna go in my room and lay down and sleep more. I literally just been wanting to sleep this time away. But I think I'm buy a house as well. Next day off I'm going to celebration and Lenard homes to find out about getting a house. 

6:57pm- just as I'm about to go relax the power goes out. An I have no idea why, I know I paid my bills. I always pay ahead of time, plus I literally paid it this morning... What an annoyance. I did do some major cleaning and organizing today though. 

7:21pm- ok power is back, power breaker tripped. I need to clean up my room. It's too packed. Up. I ain't got no business watching tv I need to read or write.