5:35am- fuck I'm tired... So I found out they gave my tickets to mail. I might have to see her Sunday. I'm not going to look at her or say a word. I fucking tossed and turned all night. I dreamt that she was pregnant. I asked if it's mine and she said of course and got mad but I didn't believe her. Like all night I dreamt she was pregnant with my child. That's annoying as fuck.
7:39am- clerk brought me some coffee. I didn't even ask her, she just got it and brought it to me this morning. That hug she gave me was so thoughtful. Really put me in a good mood this morning, she's a really nice woman. Body banging and man I like having sex with her. But I stopped doing that months ago cause she's married. I don't feel good about having sex with a married woman. She took a oath before God to be faithful and loving to her husband in Good or bad. I can't participate in her disrespect to her oath. The coffee is good though. Tonight take my boys to the movies. When I get off I gotta edit my video and try to drop that tonight.
7:40pm- so not only did they go in my room yesterday but today they got on my computer. They're not allowed in my room or to touch my stuff and they did both. That's VERY VERY VERY annoying. So not instead of taking them with me to go see venom 3 like I planned. I'm going to leave them here and send them to bed at 8 and go watch the movie alone. But my heart has been jumpy as I think about the possibility of seeing her tomorrow. She so dumb, like I legit wanted to build a life with her. But some people didn't want that. They think being alone is better than growing and developing into a real adult. Like I always tell people I used to try to explain this to 20. You're a grown up but not an adult. Your mentality is that of a child. You don't understand how to communicate, cooperate, and build. So you stumble and destroy and complicate. So whatever, the goal is to find a partner that's not only a grown up but also an adult. I'll let you know how the movie is. I'm go edit this video and hopefully upload it tonight or tomorrow. ✌🏿✌🏿
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