6:51am- I need to focus on myself. 
looks like I barely got good sleep. I was up for a bit, what an annoyance... You know as I think about Mail. Is like this girl is so corny. She legit never liked me, but I love her. An I keep asking myself why, why would I be in love with someone who doesn't like me. This girl and I always call her a girl because she thinks clubbing and bars is fun. That's some girl shit. This girl don't want nothing out of life. An worst she wasn't nice to me. Insulted me the whole time we was together. Like why do I think I deserve that? She don't cook, don't wanna spend time with her own child, don't wanna eat healthy or exercise, don't wanna live together, don't wanna buy a house together, didnt wanna sleep over just wanted to get dick then go wherever she was going. Like the girl is corny as fuck. But still yet I love her... It's like I been getting nothing but corny women since moving to fort Pierce. Which tells me I gotta do some inner work. My vibrations is attracting these 1¢ women. I need to get my shit together. Accomplish my goals.
looks like I barely got good sleep. I was up for a bit, what an annoyance... You know as I think about Mail. Is like this girl is so corny. She legit never liked me, but I love her. An I keep asking myself why, why would I be in love with someone who doesn't like me. This girl and I always call her a girl because she thinks clubbing and bars is fun. That's some girl shit. This girl don't want nothing out of life. An worst she wasn't nice to me. Insulted me the whole time we was together. Like why do I think I deserve that? She don't cook, don't wanna spend time with her own child, don't wanna eat healthy or exercise, don't wanna live together, don't wanna buy a house together, didnt wanna sleep over just wanted to get dick then go wherever she was going. Like the girl is corny as fuck. But still yet I love her... It's like I been getting nothing but corny women since moving to fort Pierce. Which tells me I gotta do some inner work. My vibrations is attracting these 1¢ women. I need to get my shit together. Accomplish my goals. 1. Buy a house
2. Get bachelor's degree (in cyber security)
3. Buy a used Tesla ($20k or less cash)
4. Make $100,000 a year solo (after taxes with degree or without)
5. Build brand (YouTube, books, movies, tufting)
6. build self (learn languages, healthy living & body)
7:55am- I fear I will never be loved how I desire. I will die single. Always giving my love and dedication to people who are ungrateful and trash. But Allah knows best.
Allah is with the believer and is that not enough? If he so chooses I will know true pure healthy love.
9:51am- she talking 4:30... Nope I'm get this overtime. God putting all that money back in my pocket. Preparing me for this new life I'm live. I'm so ready too. I'm ready to move on, to grow, to be better, have better, meet better people, find high quality women that want a healthy relationship that can and will become a marriage. I'm tired and ready for the new chapter of my life. This year was.... Not what I expected, not what I wanted. But I did have fun most of the time. My year of fun is over and it's back to the grind. The solo grind. The blood and tears grind.
7:24pm- each day I try to build my life. I try to do more with my life daily. I am so ready to become a new person. It's hard but I'm ready. I have no distractions. Other than myself, my own hurt and sadness holds me back. But I'm going to get my life on order. I think I'm going to bed early tonight. Also Thanksgiving break started so now my kids home daily. 😭😭😭😭
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