Tuesday, February 4, 2025

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7:32am- I been practicing living in the moment. Living in the right now. Focused on the right now. The feeling, smell, what I'm seeing. No other thoughts, simply the right now. I've been practicing stopping my thoughts. Watching my mind and emotions. Becoming an observer of myself. 

9:30am- I did a few job applications, we’ll see if it’s God plan for me to get a different position. Or if I’m meant to go to a different job altogether. Or if I’m meant to stay here for a bit longer. I haven’t really felt anything pulling me in any specific direction. I just been feeling like checking the website for different positions and apply to those positions. 

10:43am- living in the now. I’m about to go get the baby boy and drive down to the dentist. I woke up today feeling so much better. I've been reading the power of now and it’s really changing my perspective on reality. On my life on my existence. Living in the now, trusting my spirit, trusting that God is truly leading my life. I have absolutely let go of control. I don’t want to control my life. I want to be grateful for everything I have and don’t have. I want to move through life in love. Giving love and being loved. I want to let God control and guide me. Listening and trusting my spirit to guide me down the path I’m supposed to be on in this life. Trusting my higher self to be leading us where we belong. To see the things that’ll help us along the way. To keep people away from me who will mislead me. To keep me going in the direction I belong. God has been so good to me. He’s taken people out of my life who he knows are no good. They’re not on the frequency I’m on. They are not aligned with my journey. With my path. An that’s ok, they have their own path. Their own journey they’re traveling. I just want to be my best self. To live the life my spirit needs me to live so it can move into a higher plain of existence. Bringing my spirit closer to the oneness of the universe. Closer to God.

1:32pm- I got here way to early. Ugh, what an annoyance. Now we wait until 2. 

2:46pm- as I'm learning to live in the moment. I thought about the phrase. It is what it is. An I thought it was surrender. Acceptance of the the situation for what it is. But mer was like no. It just means it is what it is. It's not acceptance or denial. It's just the truth of the situation. That it is what it is. Like a foot is a foot. Anything else you put on it is extra. It is a foot though. What it's for is different from it just being a foot. an it's like that makes sense. That helps me... I've been practicing being in the moment. Being in the present. Being here and now as I am. 

8:30pm- today was a good day. I almost got pulled out the now. I kept getting sensations of fear. They would come out of no where. But I reminded myself I'm in the right now. I'm here and now. I started to think about her. Think about why she hasn't grown yet and come back so we can live a good life. And reminded myself I'm here and now. If it was God will she would be here right now. If it was my spirits choice my higher self would lead me down that path. The right now she is not here. The right now is me and I am not my mind. I am not the future. I am. I am enough. I am nothing. I am everything and everyone. Also I made juice today. i made two juices though. I made a plum, peach, carrot, black berry juice as well. I want some ginger. To give some spice to my juice. I need beets as well. They good for you to. i bottled my juices. I been meaning to peel the label off those bottles as well. But I got my juices for the week. And I'm make more next week. So every week I make a bottle of juice for each day. I'm about to shower and probably go to bed. I feel good about today. I need to get back into gear with my videos and writing. I been resting and resetting. Also I need to get back to fixing up my house. This weekend I just relaxed and took it easy. Than Monday and today I did the same. Maybe this whole week is my relaxation week. I hope Valentine's Day doesn't trigger me. I'm try to stay in the moment and relax myself. Just stay in the present immediate moment and the feelings and thoughts will literally pass me. I even observed them. Like I feel it and I just say what I'm feeling and where I'm feeling it. But try really hard to think about why I'm feeling that way. I just say what I'm feeling and where then I start to say what I'm doing at the moment. What I see. Where I'm at. I say it in my mind or say it out loud and just keep saying I'm in the moment. Sitting in my bed, writing my blog on my cellphone. The light is a soft yellow bathroom light on. Jojo washing dishes. I hear the water running. I feel my shoulders slumped etc. I just describe the immediate moment and it helps ground me in the here and now. Because that's all that matters. Y'all stay blessed. 

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