it means something

Love is something we all desire. Some of us seek it in drugs, sex, and random connections with others. I feel as though love is like the ocean. On the surface it looks so beautiful and calm. So clear and easy to look into. But then you step into it and learn how deep that water goes. Learn how fast you stop feeling the bottom. Learn that there are things living in the water, you are not alone. The storm begins to approach and the water turns rough. It pushes and pulls. It crashes against the surface of itself. Crashes against the beach. Crashes against you. The water thrashes your body around, pushing you under it while holding you above it. The water doesn’t care who you are, what you do, or what you want. It just is. It just does. I imagine that is the beauty of life. The scary beautiful part of life. It just is. It doesn’t care if we live or die. If we fall in love or get our hearts completely broken. The universe exists, being here experiencing life. It doesn’t care about anything. It is simply being. An that is the state of mind we all strive to reach. To just simply exist in the world without any real care for anything at all. To know that my eyes opened and I am alive. An that is enough, that is the purpose, that is the goal. I am alive and nothing else needs to be done or said about it. I always think back to something I heard. A review about movies like cast away or the grey. An the guy said in these movies. The characters are in situations where they NEED God. they are alone and trying to survive and still yet they refuse to reach out and beg. To reach out and acknowledge. An it’s because God doesn’t care in the sense that we think. You can’t call out to God and expect a hand from the sky to reach down and greet you. It’s like you were born and said hey God hey universe. I’m here…and you got silence in return. Because what does it mean to God that you are alive? That you exist? God is God regardless of you praising and living. He was and is and will be without or with you. You are but a speck in the grand scheme of things. Even smaller than that when you really think about the vastness of time, objects, the amount of people to have existed and will exist. I say all of that to say. Love fully, speak your truth, explore the depths of your heart and mind. Give yourself grace and mercy. Allowing your mind and heart to wonder and explore with each other and without. Love hurts, life hurts, but it’s also fun and nice. An in the end we do all of this just so we can die. Go through all these things just so when death reaches us we can say we had a good time. We can say I tried, I pushed, I pulled, I took, I gave, I grabbed, I threw, I caught, I spit, I swallowed, I tumbled, I got up, I did, and I did not. I was alive and that has to mean something.